Let your inner child have fun

Today I felt like painting with water colors but my first thought was something like "You are not a child anymore, why don't you do adult stuff, something productive etc.?". It's good that I chose not to listen to this first thought, because finding time for and allowing your inner child to get creative from time to time is a nice way of clearing some head space.

So I began looking up "easy things to paint" because I do not feel like I have special talents in this area. I started small by drawing the lines of a flower and a ladybug I saw online. When I liked the result I started filling it with watercolors. In the meantime I made myself a 3 in 1 coffee for a little energy boost.

The creative process took place on my bedroom floor

See, I was not aiming for perfection, I was just letting my thoughts run free while listening to a podcast on YouTube. I noticed it is a suitable way of relaxation for me because I've tried meditation but I can't seem to stay still and concentrate on my breathing for a long time with getting the beneficial effects this practice promises. While I've not given up on meditation completely and wish to practice in the future, I might have found a thing that calms me down :). Concentrating myself on the details allowed me to escape my own thoughts for a little bit and I think that people these days generally need more moments like this, because they (of course including myself) are so devoted and obsessed with their own thoughts and inner dialogue. What's more, the conscious does not seem to get enough rest in this information age we live in, because we are bombarded with information sources coming from everywhere.

I guess my point is just that we should free up some time for enjoyable activities, even if our logical reasoning tried to convince us it is a waste of time at first. No, I did not lose an hour of my time, I got an hour of relaxation and pleasure. The final result does not matter, but this is what it was. I found it cute, though very simple and non-professional - this was not the point.

See you next time with some new random thoughts. Take care :)

-A.

On doing it now

Everything you do now is for your future. We know that but sometimes we fall into thinking that the best thing to do in the present moment is to enjoy ourselves now. Which is also true. So how is it possible to both enjoy now and be disciplined enough to be able to work on projects that will benefit your future? If you have an idea, please share it with me.

Currently I am struggling with finding motivation for studying. I know it is important because it is the final step I need to take, so what is the problem? I really, really do not want to do it. So after spending hours of watching videos on motivating yourself to do something you do not want to, I noticed one thing. Although some of them were helpful, nothing beats action.

You could spend whole days and weeks just avoiding the thoughts of just starting whatever it is that you want to achieve. This blog was also a thing I wanted to be serious with, I always liked writing, just the process of getting ideas out of your head and then getting free mind space. But finding perfect excuses seemed to be stronger. Today I just woke up and thought about what am I putting off and writing blog posts, besides studying, was an obvious thing.

That is why I sat down and started doing it. And I can assure you it feels good. It is not accomplishing a task just with one big chunk, but about starting, taking the first step now, as soon as your mind gives birth to the idea of action (see Plato's philosophy and his theory of forms and ideas).
Before letting your own thoughts get in the way and distract you or persuade you that you could do something else instead. Of course you could do, but you have the choice to freely choose what it is, do not let this beautiful mind of yours (with the help of old and established habits) dictate what you do.

I think it is really that simple. Just do it now, without much thinking, because ideas will only stay ideas if you do not choose to turn them into actions. Another personal example is working out. I started taking little actions every day - I set a timer on my iPhone for 5 min. and started doing exercises. Of course this will not get me in shape fast, but it is a small step into what I think is the right direction. So before I have time to say to myself "maybe later", "I don't feel like it" or "I will do it tomorrow" I just take action. It feels great! Now I just have to transfer these steps into the action of studying.

On the one hand I am probably stating the obvious for some people, but on the other I believe that this would help somebody, which will make me really happy :)

While you are waiting

While you are waiting: For a better life to really start living For someone to beg you to start forgiving For a nicer place to feel true joy For a bigger house,which you enjoy For a sunnier day to go out running For a new opportunity, that seems so cunning For a big amount of money to travel For the next secret you want to unravel For a higher salary to start donating For an inspiration to start creating For a free hour when you can really think For something to happen to change everything For more free time to sit down and write For someone to sit down with to unwind For you to become a better man For destiny to show you what it can For a degree to succeed in life For someone to sharpen your knife For your dreams to come true For someone to find the real you For a new city to find people to bond... While you are waiting, life won't.

  -A.

The first principle

Tonight I found an old notebook of mine and decided to look what's inside. One page was full of quotes and one of them made me think a little bit more than others. The quote goes as follows: 

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard Feynman.

I started googling some more information about Mr. Feynman and it turns out the man was a famous american physicist. With his first principle he is actually trying to warn scientists, that they may believe they are making a scientific discovery, when it is only so in their heads. Because in the last century some experiments were not conducted twice, the first experiment was usually used as a solid background and its theories and hypothesis were not being questioned. They were only changing the conditions in the experiment, without bothering to do it again and get to the same results first. People were fooling themselves. And those were scientists. What about us ordinary people?

We are also fooling ourselves on a daily basis. I could give up smoking, I just do not want to. I will start studying in 20 minutes, just one more YouTube video. I could start a new life tomorrow, in fact I am, when I wake up tomorrow, I will be kinder and generally a more positive person. Bullshit. I could go to the fitness, no problem, I just do not feel like it today, I'll go tomorrow. And this we repeat a couple of months until eventually giving up and telling ourselves that it is not THAT important. If  your health is not important enough for you, I don't know what is, but this is another topic.

Or when we tell ourselves that "we deserve more" in a particular relationship, although we are not giving the same. Or you may fool yourself about not liking a potential partner after they have rejected you. Yes, your ego comes in play to keep you and your insecurities safe, to protect you from your own thoughts about yourself. 

We all have a story in our heads about who we are and fearlessly try to protect it from another person who has a different opinion. We often refuse to admit something unpleasant about ourselves when it comes from our social environment. After all, who knows me better than I know myself? Well, a lot of people, it turns out. Because they could have (of course not always) an objective whole view of who you are, what personality flaws you have, and believe me, you do have some, everybody does. What is wrong with our own stories is that there is a lot of wishful thinking in them after repeating them so many times and defend them in front of others ("This is who I am!"). We fail to see that a lot of the time, we are fooling ourselves, that we could do stuff, just because we want that to be true. We really could be millionaires in our heads, we have great ideas, it is just a matter of time. And then the time passes and you still have a job that pays the bills but is far from those six zeros.

We are the easiest people to fool. Nobody wants to be fooled and yet we seem to be letting our own kind of thinking fool us. We keep thinking we are special in a way and if others do not see it, it is their problem. Well, everybody thinks they are special! That's what our loved ones tell us all the time as well. And that is all right. I tend to believe that everyone has a potential to achieve great things, has a hidden talent and insecurities that prevent them of showing it to the world. Just do not fool yourself, just like you are special, so is everybody else. Do not fool yourself that you work harder than the others or that you are better than them and therefore deserve more from life. Everyone has a different criteria when it comes to themselves, "I am not like this" you may say. Well you are a person and this alone makes you similar, in some ways, to 7,5 billion other people. 

I do not know if we could escape this mind mechanism. It surely does differentiate us from the other animals. A lion is not sitting there, thinking he could chase and eat that gazelle for breakfast. He just does it, it is an instinct. I am not trying to say that we should not think and just act on our instincts (then we won't have enough time to fool ourselves...hmm, interesting). Anyway, I just wanted to say, now you know, that you fool yourself all the time (it is not nice to hear, I know) but how could you escape it? By trusting your surroundings and that includes loved ones, relatives, friends, parents, children (yes!) etc. Otherwise nothing big would happen, you would just keep fooling yourself. But let me guess, you want something big, right?

Paris Mon Amour

I don't like Paris. I love Paris! A couple of days ago I visited this lovely city for the second time, this time together with two of my best friends. We stayed at a hotel near the center and as soon as we checked in and left our luggage upstairs, we headed for the Eiffel Tower. Along the way, we found the stores (I don't know if these were the headquarters but they looked so) of some leading high end fashion brands like Chanel, Dior, Givenchy, Tom Ford, Valentino etc.

We took some pictures of the Eiffel Tower, which was to be seen at distance. Then we had to hurry because we had a reservation on a boat-restaurant, on which we were going to have our dinner.

amazing Paris at sunset

It was such an adventure to find the exact place where our boat was located. Then, after successfully finding it, it turned out that due to the high level of the river Seine, we had to wait almost an hour outside. And we waited. The weather was so cold we could not feel out fingers after some time but we managed to keep our spirits high. After all, we were in Paris and about to have a really great dinner on a boat while we enjoy a night view of the French capital!

Delicious Deserts

On the next day we went on our next adventure - Disneyland. I would not say it was my dream since I was a little girl (which is probably the case for most kids) but I was surprised how much fun a grown up kid like me can have on a roller coaster. For the record, my friends both did'n enjoy the ride as much as I did.

The Disney Castle

Of course it would not be a proper trip to Paris if we do not try the French macarons. We went to Laduree and were really impressed by the variety that was offered. I can not find words to say how much I love macarons, so I will not try, just look at this delicious little stuff!

This is how love looks like

We finished our stay in Paris with a tour inside the Eiffel Tower on the last day. Our tour guide would not let us get inside if we do not say that French people were the best. Couple of times. Well, I guess they are really proud of that tower after all. We got to see Paris from birds eye view and it was just amazing. The only exception was the weather, which was horrible - it was so cold and windy up there that we did not stay long enough to enjoy the view how it deserves to. Never mind, this is another good reason to get back there when it is warmer. 

In front of a souvenir shop

Friends <3

Right now, as I am writing this blog post, I miss Paris. I wish I could take another walk on the streets, enjoy the old architecture, beautiful buildings and set my mind free. The whole atmosphere of it is just magical and must be felt, not read about...I will definitely go again because there is so much more to see and to experience there. Until then I remain with amazing memories from this short trip. À bientôt, Paris!

A short trip to London

Yesterday I came back from London I wanted to write a blog post about the time spent there. This was the first time I visited the UK and that is why I was pretty excited. After graduating from high school I wanted to study there but in the last minute plans changed and I came to Germany instead. Maybe it was all for the better, who knows...

Anyways, I loved London from the first sight! Although it takes forever to get somewhere because of the long distances, the city offers so much incredible places to see. Unfortunately Big Ben was under reconstruction and I could not see it, but there ware plenty of other places I enjoyed. 

The London Eye

Kings Cross Station

In London every place and every building is really big, there are people everywhere and it could get difficult to get through all of them. The transport is convenient but sometimes reacquires additional long walking to get to the place you want to reach. One of the things I was very happy to find was the platform 9 3/4 and the Harry Potter fan shop just on its left. I ended up buying a ticket for Hogwarts Express (if only I could actually travel with it!) and a key chain with the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.

Platform 9 3/4 for Hogwarts Express

Another place we visited was the Tower of London, which is a historical royal palace turned into a museum. There people can learn about how prisoners were kept before eventually executed or view the royal crowns of nearly every English King of Queen since Edward V. 

A royal bedroom

5 minutes away from the Tower of London is Tower Bridge, often called incorrectly London Bridge (London Bridge is the next one on the right and has no towers)

  

Me in front of Tower Bridge

Pubs are very common in London and I guess in the whole UK. I did not order the so famous dish Fish and Chips because I think it is way too unhealthy to combine two deep fried things in one meal. So I tried a salad with salmon and some cider. 

Tasty meal in a pub

I also visited the Natural History Museum that turned out to be the best museum I have seen. There was a real size dinosaur, which was moving and roaring! Visitors could also experience how an earthquake feels like, there was a platform and a decors of a supermarket, you get on it and everything start to shake. I hope I never experience it in real life but when I know it is only a simulation it was nice. 

My friend, at whose place I stayed, and I also took a stroll around the Buckingham Palace, Oxford Street, Piccadilly Circus (looks like a small Times Square). I was also impressed by the M&M World, basically a very big M&M store, which has the worlds biggest candy wall! 

So all in all, London offers a great variety of entertainment and places to visit, as well as good fitness shape because you have to walk a lot, no kidding.  I got the feeling that living there would be great but stressful, everyone seems to always be in a rush to get somewhere. I wish I had time to visit all the other awesome places I could not this time, but this is a good reason to go back and visit London again in the future. Thanks to my friends, two old classmates of mine, I had a  great time there and really enjoyed myself. When you have the opportunity to visit this city, do not hesitate and do it. And definitely try one of the cutest cupcakes I have ever seen - Lola's Cupcakes !

Hygge morning

Hygge is a Danish word and is described as a mood of coziness, when you feel comfortable and enjoy the present moment. It doesn't have to be something big, just lighting up a candle can set you in this mood. One can be alone or with friends and family.

That's what I tried to do this morning. Doing simple steps, mindfully and trying to be present. Often it is very hard to be present nowadays - we are always in a rush, we never have enough time to just stop and enjoy the only moment we really have, right now.

After waking up and seeking the sunshine, I immediately felt cosy, as it is still winter and sunshine rays are rare. I made myself a cocoa drink with oat milk and then felt the warmth of the sun on my skin and of the cocoa in my hands. A sudden feeling of gratefulness and comfort occurred. Could it really be so simple? Just taking a moment to clear your toughs, to really be here and now without overthinking or trying so hard? I felt it this morning and I can assure you, it felt good. As if you are part of the world but simultaneously there is no one else and you are all by yourself (but in a good way). It was special.